Overheard at the Italian bakery:"Whatta cassata!" "Holy cannoli!" "My gosh a focaccia!"
The Italian dessert that sounds like a palindrome: "Plan on a pan of panna cotta."
"Highways jammed wid bwoken hewoes on a wass chance powah dwive." -- Bwuce Spwingsteen
There's a paranoid in Security with a paranoid insecurity.
I decided to say the day was cabrindy: It started out calm, became breezy, then got windy.
Roses are red, sailor's delight. Violets are blue, and so is that sailor who ended up here by mistake.
Words you can't use by themselves: mumbo, rinky, razzle, heebie, crannies, jeebies, or panky.
Four Russian words: Dressing, Mob, Ballet, Roulette
I don't think you can go to rehab if you haven't been to "hab" first.
Bet it, move it, watch it, lose it, shake it, bust it. Versatile word #53: "ass."
I've never seen anyone hit by a single whammy. It's always a double whammy. Maybe a triple!
The word honeycomb has a silent "B." But if you try to steal one from the hive, the bees aren't silent.
Haven't you ever heard of a rhetorical question?
Ancient Egyptian saying: "Show me the mummy!"
When everything you say is a non sequitur, you can't be quoted out of context.
If I order a "Large Shrimp Pizza," is it a large pizza with shrimp, or a standard pizza with a large shrimp?
"Linens 'n' Things" went bankrupt. It was the "things" that done 'em in.
Scotsman to composer: "Aye, Shostakovich, but I dinna shoot the deputy."
Internet haiku: You e-mailed a joke / It was funny the first time / I got it last spring.
If it weren't for the lazy dog, nobody would have paid attention to the quick brown fox.
I got a whole supply of bloodshot eyes that I ain't never used.
Marcel Cousteau, the underwater mime.
They're gonna foreclose on my intellectual property.
I had a brisk pre-Brexit brisket-in-a-biscuit basket breakfast with a brusque British busker.
"Tigris?" "No, zebras." "Euphrates?" "Nah, I'm not scared of them."
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