Web-Site Foolishness Since 1992
Rick’s Pages








People quote Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde all the time. Why not me?

(All are original lines made up by me.)



































Click Any Link Above To See Quotes In That Category







Overheard at the Italian bakery:"Whatta cassata!" "Holy cannoli!" "My gosh a focaccia!"

There are two major religions in Italy. #2 is the Catholic church. #1 is food.

Chinatown delis are so organized: they've got all their ducks in a row.

My mother was such a bad cook, she was Hamburger Helpless.

What are buffalo chicken wings made from? Buffalo, or chicken?

I've had a Mister Coffee; I've seen Mister T. There's a singer called Hot Chocolate. What's next?

That Mexican restaurant is so bad, people refer to it as "Buenas Nauseous."

Buy organic vegetables: Then you can add your own pesticides at home.

Obi-Wan at dinner: "Use the fork, Luke!"

Pizza gets a bad rap. It's the most common food sent in when there's a hostage situation.

Food adjectives: Fruity, Meaty, Cheesy, Spicy, Savory; but then there's Fishy!

My wife on rose wine: "Either stand up and be a red, or sit down and be a white!"

I hate liver. Well, except for the one I carry around in my belly.

The Seven Dwarf Chefs: Fruity, Meaty, Cheesy, Spicy, Juicy, Savory, and Fishy.

The menu said "Our burgers are 100% British beef." So I ordered the chicken.

Pizza. In the Yellow Pages continuum between Physicians and Plumbers.

Maybe McDonald's can partner with Disney and make a Scrooge McDuck sandwich.

Never mind more fiber in my diet. I want more fiber in my Internet connection!

Someone asked "Where's the end of the supply chain?" Based on the produce I find, it's right before my local supermarket.

I only started drinking at five o'clock, but I can't recall what day that was.

I didn't know she was a vegetarian: She had no accent at all!

The universe isn't really expanding. It's just that we compare it with grocery food packages, which are getting smaller!

I'm not well-bred. But to look at me, you'd think I was well-breaded.

I never get a brain-freeze from ice cream. For starters, one needs to have a brain.

The Italian dessert that sounds like a palindrome: "Plan on a pan of panna cotta."

I was in Louisiana, so I went to a swap meet to get some swamp meat.

The food at Disneyland is more expensive than what NASA sent to the moon.Even after you account for cost of the actual transportation.

At a restaurant, I heard a couple say, "We're waiting for change." But doesn't change have to come from within?

Sign on a sausage shop: "Prepare for the wurst!"

If I order a "Large Shrimp Pizza," is it a large pizza with shrimp, or a standard pizza with a large shrimp?

Just once, I'd like to see a restaurant not say their chowder is famous!

This restaurant has been here forever; in fact, their first dish was primordial soup.

I always thought Condoleezza Rice was an ingredient in paella!

Copyright © 2022 - Rick Auricchio